life as an ostovic

where do I put my trust?

where do I put my hope?

where do i find my peace?

where do i find my strength?

Today I was reminded of these good hard questions that we all walk around the halls of this world wondering. Wether we know it or not, all of us are continually wrestling with these questions. There has got to be more to life than what I know it to be. there has go to be purpose and meaning beyond what I experience here on this planet. I seem to continually find myself seeking answers to these questions in all the wrong places. I try to answer them on my own by throwing myself into my work, house, family, friends, even relationships only to find that I am left empty in the end. when will i learn?

You know, rip away all of the layers of who derrak is and what you will find underneath is a wretched man in need of being helped. And all he longs for is to be known, loved, and to be doing that which he was created for.

If I can only remember that the answers do not come from within me, then I will find myself exactly in the place I was meant to be all along. If I am only willing to give up all that I am and all that I value; if I am willing to give up all control, for that which God desires for my life, then and only then will I find myself in the place that I was always meant to be.

I do not know what you think, but I have found that only through Christ can these questions be answered, and this is what I need to remember. He is who I need to yield my life to. He is the one.

Thanks for listening, I wonder what you think? let me know.

till next time,

d

p.s. 5 weeks till we find out the sex of our baby!!! yeah!

melanie
Originally uploaded by dostovic.

Okay, so what do I write on my first blog post? The most newsworthy thing going on is the pregnancy. This whole pregnancy thing is….interesting. Pretty wacky. From sickness to crazy food preferences and aversions, body changes, doctor appointments shopping for maternity clothes, etc. The ultrasound was very cool, and seemed surreal. I was thinking, “we’re watching an ultrasound and there’s a baby in there. Oh, that’s me!!” Hearing the heartbeat takes my breath away. I can’t wait for the next ultrasound- to see the baby again and find out the sex. It’s cool to think that God is the only one who knows if there’s a girl baby or boy baby in my belly. I am enjoying the pre-baby lifestyle that we are living- for only 25 more weeks. Every weekend morning that I get to sleep in I savor. Every time Derrak and I can go to a movie on a whim, I treasure. Soon it will change drastically and permanently. I guess I’m just trying to enjoy this phase of life to the fullest before we move to the next phase– life with children. My husband is supportive and patient. I must admit, there may be an occasional occurance of mood swing or crankiness on my part. Guess that’s what happens when you feel like you need to throw up all the time! I’m eager to enter the part of pregnancy when I can feel the baby move and it becomes even more real. In the meantime, I plug away the the nursing home, and try to be healthy!

ostovic baby
Originally uploaded by dostovic.

well, it is time to get this really going. I thought that since our first baby is on the way that it would be a great topic to start with.

first, some info for those who are new to the idea that an ostovic baby (pictured here) is on the way. Here are the details.

- Melanie is currently 14 1/2 weeks along.
- Our baby is due February 20, 2005.
- YES we are going to find out the sex and that will happen in 5 weeks at our 20 week ultrasound.
- we do not have any names decided on yet but we like Norah, and Jackson so far. Melanie is not ready to commit to any but I am ready to commit to Norah.
- Melanie thinks it is a girl, I do not know how she can tell, I guess it is a maternal thing!?

So now you are all up to date, and I have a few comments. . .

the observations of an expecting father . . .
1. The number one question I am asked is “How is Melanie doing”? Although I am glad people care about Melanie, I am beginig to wonder wether or not anyone cares about me. I am told that I should just get used to this, and I am sure i will. : )

2. The other day I turned to my wife and said, “Oh!!! Melanie decided to visit today. I have not seen you in a while.” for those who may not get what I am getting at. Boy, pregnancy really changes a woman a whole lot, and in every way possible.

3. It seems that about 1 1/2 yearsago there was the first wave of babies to hit our family and friends. Now it seems that we have started a second wave. This means that most of our friends and family are getting on with their second. How crazy is that!!!!

Incidentally one of the benefits of this is that many freinds and family have “baby” stuff that they will no longer use and so they give it to us. How Awesome is that!!!!!!!

4. Seriously though, one year form now I am sure i will understand the relationship of father to child a lot better. I am very much looking forward to that becasue I have often wondered what it is like from the other side. I think it may bring some new insight with regards to my relationship with our heavenly father.

Well, that is it for now. look for more posts more often now. AND PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT! I hope to start a section with links to other good sites and blogs. Hopefully melanie will get to post soon too.

talk to ya later.

derrak

me
Originally uploaded by dostovic.

well here it is. a place for me to muse upon any topic that hits me and a place for you to read about it. (although i am not sure why you would want to)

anyway, this will also be a great place for you to catch up on what is going on in the ostovic household. As many of you already know we are expecting our first baby on 02.20.05! I am sure you will hear more about that in the future.

I am hoping to post many pictures to to go along with my posts, and hopefully i will be able to get melanie to post as well. At any rate this should be fun, at least for me, and I hope for all of you.

Please feel free to comment on any post. that is one of the things that makes this so much fun!

till next time
derrak